I’ve not made resolutions before but I’ve heard the legends; I imagine you’ve also come across those old tales whispered around campfires and conjured up out of nowhere during Christmas holiday downtime, tales of mythical creatures who make resolutions and stick to them. Who are these champions? Surely it can’t be true!
I’m not sure which cog turned, or perhaps suddenly manifested, in my brain and caused me to make the decision to make monthly goals, write them up and post them online… but it all happened within about an hour. So bare with me whilst I clean this blog up a bit over the next couple of weeks, it’s all been a little unexpected. In the meantime, for those of you who love BIG BLOCKS OF TEXT, below is a little introduction to what inspired this new blog.
My unexpected journey (no connection to Jackman’s controversial interpretation of The Hobbit) began on New Year’s Eve 2016, an evening I spent alone.
At around 5pm I said goodbye to my long distance boyfriend with whom I’d spent Christmas with and he left to spend New Year’s with his friends. I guess he felt bad about this because he’d brought me a ton of food to eat. And also candles?! It was kinda like being invited to have a candlelit dinner, on my own, at New Year’s. I truly appreciated the sentiment. I used my usual speaker as a table, my single mattress as a chair (if you’ve ever experienced London rent prices, you know the drill) and was sick with a cold.
At some point in between eating chocolate-edition Santa and investigating who hacked my Netflix, I heard a really loud banging sound. I remained unusually calm knowing that this was almost certainly the sound of midnight fireworks and not someone breaking into the house. I changed my Netflix password, thus kicking some dude in Ecuador off my account, and went to bed. (It’s too late for my Netflix recommendations though; my hacker friend binge watched horror movies and My Little Pony episodes throughout the Christmas period. Now when I login I see horrific, screaming zombie faces. And smiling cartoon mermaids. I’m not sure which disturbs me more.)
Not all my New Year’s have been underwhelming, but many have been spent with just one additional person and the reliably straightforward way to begin the year – counting down from ten – has been missed. It’s never really occurred to me or bothered me because I spend so much time In while others are Out anyway. And I was still very much In on the 2nd of Jan when I received two texts from my friend Lamb:
First text: ‘Question. Why did you spend NYE alone??’
Second text: ‘What’s your NY resolutions?!’
She shared hers with me and, an hour later, I shared mine with her. In the form of this blog.
Of course, it’s not really about ‘resolutions’ or some poignant unison of memories from New Year’s Past. Nah. This is just me, trying something new, to deal with old anxieties. Let’s see if I can make this campfire-Christmas-downtime-legend a reality then. If I take one more step, it’ll be the farthest away from my comfort zone I’ve ever been. And there’s no knowing where I might be swept off to.